Jedi miss chance to fulfill destiny when attacked by Vader

Sci-Fi & Fantasy

The Associated Press is reporting that in Wales “A man who dressed up as Darth Vader, wearing a garbage bag for a cape, and assaulted the founders of a group calling itself the Jedi church was given a suspended sentence Tuesday.” As far as I’m concerned, this is what they call a victimless crime.

If you really and truly claim to be a Jedi master, you have to expect to come under attack by dark Sith Lords. It comes with the territory (and lightsaber). If I walked around telling everyone I was Han Solo, I would be well aware that some day, Jabba the Hutt (or an emissary acting on his behalf) might come looking for payment for that shipment of spice I had to dump. And if he did? I wouldn’t cry about it. I’d stand up and say “Jabba! I was just on my way to see you, when I got a little sidetracked.”

I mean, you didn’t hear Obi-Wan complaining when he fought Vader on the Death Star did you? No, Obi-Wan took it like a real Jedi and fulfilled his destiny and got a sweet blue ghost, not like these two sissies from England who apparently went crying to the police when their destiny came calling. Instead of going to the police, you’d think they could have called upon some of the other 390,000 other Jedi in England for some backup. But that’s why Obi-Wan was a true Jedi master and these guys clearly are not. Maybe they could start up a church of Jar Jar Binks instead. I can see it now, “The Church of the Worthless Sidekick”. Though come to think of it, they might get attacked even MORE often then.

Don't miss a story! Get Nerdvana updates delivered to your inbox.