We recently asked Nerdvana readers to share their wildest “WTF?” moments from their tabletop roleplaying game adventures, because they’re always fun to hear but also to celebrate this weekend’s Crit Hit! 2016 convention (and to win a shot at a pair of passes to the first-of-its-kind-in-Phoenix event).
And, trusty murder-hobos that you are, we got … a few. So here we present the best responses!
The winner of the two Crit Hit! passes has already been directly notified by email (so check your Junk folders), but read on if you just want to see what epic fails were recounted — and feel free to join the discussion, though you won’t win anything now but our undying AD&D-miration.
Waylon shares a dogged tale of getting crossways with the DM that I think we can all relate to on some level:
31 years ago I was playing a level 27 Elf Ranger in AD&D that had broken off from my group to follow a personal side quest and ended up being attacked/ambushed by a massive pack of 100+ Blink Dogs [the GM and I disliked each other greatly, (I was dating/doing his sister)]. Needless to say, being unsupported and overwhelmed, they managed to kill my character off that I had diligently worked on for the better part of four years to develop and grow. It left a rather bitter and foul aftertaste, both mentally and physically within my mouth, and since that time, I’ve played AD&D maybe a half-dozen times and have never had a character develop above a level 4 or 5. Well, that’s my story of misfortune and I’m sticking to it! Blink Dogs, of all things. BLINK DOGS!!! Can you just imagine? Arrrgh!
Blink dogs are a hell of a way to go, Waylon, but weren’t you ever warned? Don’t split the party! (And don’t do the DM’s sister, if you can help it.)
Jay chimed in with what NOT to do when you accidentally kill one of the poor sods you’re supposed to rescue:
At the end of a story arc in D&D 4e campaign, our party found the missing people we were searching for captured and in peril in cages. And during the battle to rescue them, killed one, which horrified all the others so we quickly killed them too! BAM, instant evil campaign!
Amanda is such a card:
Playing D&D 5e my character pulled from the Deck of Many Things, and in the middle of an arboretum she lost everything she owned, got super dumb but crazy charismatic. She ended up having to ask the animals to make her clothes… Spider silk is not very warm…
Stephen was light on detail, but gets an E for effort, I guess:
We have a winner!
Last but not least is Tim, our winner, who will be enjoying a weekend of tabletop RPG epicness at Crit Hit! on us (even though he let one of his players be a kobold, and I really hated that when I DM’ed — but you do you, Tim).
I once ran a D&D game that had a kobold sorcerer name Ratatat in the party. One adventure culminated with a set-piece encounter with a white dragon and its minions. Ratatat’s player, thinking quick on his feet, described how he fell to his knees and began complimenting the dragon in the high draconic language. The player did an excellent job of roleplaying, and he rolled a high charisma check, too. It was such an impressive and pitiable display, that the dragon allowed the adventurers to safely leave its lair, as long as they promised that they would repay the favor. And thus, all the work that I’d spent mapping out the dragon’s icy domain was for naught, but it was worth the wasted effort to be part of such a fun moment.
So, what’s your RPG WTF moment? Share in the comments below! And if you were lucky enough to attend this weekend’s Crit Hit! 2016 event, don’t forget to bring us tall tales of your exploits and encounters at the game tables!
SPECIAL THANKS ARE IN ORDER:
Discuss Literary Adventures at the Facebook group 'For the Love of All Things Edgar Rice Burroughs.'Trademarks TARZAN®, TARZAN OF THE APES®, JOHN CARTER OF MARS®, DEJAH THORIS®, PELLUCIDAR®, A PRINCESS OF MARS® and EDGAR RICE BURROUGHS® are owned by Edgar Rice Burroughs, Inc.