The vast right-wing conspiracy is at it again and this time they have Hillary Clinton pulling the ol’ switcheroo with a body double after she became overheated in a crowd and had to make a premature departure from a 9/11 ceremony last Sunday morning.
Every pixel from every frame of video taken from every iPhone within sight of the former First Lady appears to have been ‘scientifically’ analyzed with the results becoming undisputed evidence that Clinton is dastardly lying to us about being okay. (Follow the mind-altering news on Twitter at #HillarysBodyDouble).
Utilizing the enormous pop culture databases linked to the massively powerful Nerdvanatron 9000 processing system, we’ve managed to trace the roots of Hillary’s latest plot back to the 1993 film, Dave, where a small town business owner and presidential lookalike takes the place of an ailing President.
Of course this isn’t the first time that a body double has been involved in presidential politics. Back in 2013 we told you about the time President John F. Kennedy doubled for Clark Kent so that Superman could attend a television show featuring Kent reuniting with old friends and family. (Read about it in the Classic Comic Cover Corner.)
Another theory that has not been considered yet (at least not that I’m aware of) is that Mystique may have given Hillary pneumonia (by who knows what nefarious means) and then shape-shifted into the nation’s first female presidential contender. We’ve all seen the X-men movies, so we know it’s possible. And has anyone ever seen Jennifer Lawrence and Hillary Clinton together?
Along those lines, Bill Clinton and J. Law have been seen together, making it entirely feasible that the X-Men actress, as Mystique, is teaming up with Bill and masquerading as Hillary in an effort to regain control of the country. But this devious duo obviously boondoggled the 9/11 ceremony when the ‘real’ Hillary slipped out to show her support for victims’ families.
Is Hillary using the services of a master of disguise in order to deceive the country? Has Bill teamed up with a shapeshifting villain? What’s next, Donald Trump is actually Cthulhu in disguise? Only one thing is for certain – I can’t wait to see the Oliver Stone movie about the 2016 presidential election.
Trump could barely hope to be 1/63 as great as I am if he weren’t such a buffoon, @StephenKing pic.twitter.com/AKU0PFNoG2
— Cthulhu for America (@cthulhu4america) September 12, 2016
