Mars, lock up your women: Is Newt’s moon madness really just a layover?

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Newt GingrichIf you’ve been following the recent Republican presidential debates and GOP political posturing, then you’ve probably heard about Newt Gingrich’s plan to, if elected, create a U.S. colony/permanent base on the moon by the end of his second term. He even has a plan to make the moon our 51st state!

Many have panned the former Speaker of the House as being crazy for even thinking of such a radical idea. Some say he’s just pandering to the NASA employees in Florida, to capture their votes in the upcoming primary election. But I think I know where he’s going with all this…and where he’s headed is Mars!

Speaker Gingrich is a well known “ladies man,” and I think he’s probably heard about the hot red chicks they have on Mars (see Dejah Thoris), and if elected to the position of the most powerful man on the planet, who wouldn’t immediately start working out a way to get to the Red Planet and begin some diplomatic liaisons with Martian princesses? Scientists have already determined that we could not make the full trip to Mars without having a couple of rest stops in between, and the moon is the first obvious choice. Another possible influence on Newt’s moon plan may have been the Moon Maid painting by Frank Frazetta.

Frank Frazetta - Fighting Man of MarsLet’s face it, we can’t all be John Carter and make the Mars trip via some transcendental astral plane-crossing odyssey. Most of us, like Gingrich, have to take a more practical route. Maybe if Newt changed his name to John Carter, people would take his planet-hopping hopes more seriously. And if he did that, he could also compete in an awesome new contest being sponsored by Walt Disney Pictures.

That’s right — if your name is John Carter you can enter into a sweepstakes contest to win a trip to a strange and unusual world! Well, a trip to Peru anyway –- and that’s cool! Explore the ancient culture of the Inca Empire; see the Amazon jungles; and battle the white apes of the Andes mountains (known to the locals as Yeti!). I’m not certain about the Peruvian princess situation, but it still sounds like an incredible trip for the lucky winner!

Even if your name is NOT John Carter, you can still enter the sweepstakes and potentially win a trip to a special advance screening of Disney’s John Carter film (opening on March 9). For official contest rules, visit www.RealJohnCarter.comand beat Newt Gingrich to Mars!

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About the author

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Bob Leeper

Bob Leeper is the co-owner and manager of "Arizona’s Pop Culture and Alternative Art Network," Evermore Nevermore. He is the co-creator of the pop culture events Steampunk Street and ENCREDICON, and is a member of the Phoenix Film Critics Society. He also curates the Facebook fan site The Arizona Cave – AZ Fans of Edgar Rice Burroughs, and is one of the few brave and bold fans of Jar Jar Binks.

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