Eastwood and the invisible president: Is there more than meets the eye? (SATIRE)

The Internets and Twittersphere (#invisibleobama) are in an uproar over Clint Eastwood’s apparently ‘insane’ actions at the Republican National Convention last Thursday evening, where he appeared to have a graceless conversation with an invisible President Obama who was sitting on a stool next to the iconic actor. But what if this was more than just awkward acting in an ill-conceived skit – what if the President actually does have the power of invisibility and was present on that stage?

Could it be that ‘Dirty Harry’ himself has uncovered the possibility that our government has the technology to make objects, or even living persons, invisible? If so, how did they come by this knowledge? Is this some sort of alien science, or have our military weapons engineers developed this new technology? Is it possible the President is acting alone, and if so, how did he acquire this ability?

If this technology is of alien origin, how did the President come by it – and more importantly, is he under the control of alien overlords? Is Obama himself an alien? If we entertain the possibility of alien involvement then we must also consider that the invisible person seated next to Mr. Eastwood was not the President at all, but an alien impersonator, disguised as the invisible Obama.

Now if we are to believe that aliens have invaded the Earth and attempted to manipulate proceedings at the Republican convention, then who is to say that Clint himself was not an alien imposter? He certainly was acting very strange – and who else but another alien entity could accurately interpret the inaudible gibberish coming from the invisible “Obama” alien impostor?

While many may consider the machinations of other-worldly beings to be far-fetched and implausible, no one can deny that Mr. Eastwood (if that was really him) was having a live conversation with an invisible being, who was allegedly the President of the United States – on national television. It is too implausible to believe that a crowd of political delegates would simply just believe something that wasn’t true, so that leaves only one possibility – there was an invisible man on that stage.

So let’s bring things back to Earth and forget alien intervention for a moment. Besides, we know that aliens are most likely to seek out intelligent life, so it’s doubtful they would appear at the RNC. But, we have determined for sure is that there was an invisible person on the stage with Clint Eastwood. We know this because of the thousands of reliable witnesses who acknowledged the presence of this “being,” not to mention the millions who saw it (or saw that they didn’t see it) on television. So how is it that this “person” was able to become invisible?

I’m no scientist, but if science fiction and fantasy has taught us anything, it’s that there are many ways in which one may obtain an invisible state. One of the oldest known methods actually came from H.G. Wells back in 1897. In his book, The Invisible Man, a scientist changes the way in which his body reflects light, so that its mass is clear, just like the air around it. Given Eastwood’s experience with lighting and cameras, it’s very possible that this was the process used, as the legendary actor/director would immediately pick-up on any sort of light-reflecting gimmickry.

Invisibility cloaks have been used in everything from Star Trek to Predator, and these “cloaks” also manipulate the physics of light reflection and refraction to alter the visual perception of an object. Again, with Eastwood’s vast film-making experience, this is something he could easily pick-up on, especially at close range, where any gaps or kinks in the cloak would be more perceptible to the naked eye.

There are many ways in which the President and his team of democratic scientists could have produced his invisibility powers, everything from cosmic rays (see the Invisible Woman), to an invisibility watch (Gemini Man), to an invisibility spray (see Now You See Him, Now You Don’t) or a serum that reconfigures his molecules (Hollow Man). But when all the evidence is gathered and looked at objectively, there can be only One answer to the President’s mysterious powers of invisibility.

There is a good possibility that the the President of the United States has obtained the One Ring. What else but the malevolent power of the One Ring would explain some of the rude comments that were apparently being spoken by the invisible entity on that stage? The One Ring is a Ring of Power, so its use at this convention, where a political party is planning to try and usurp the power of the presidency, stands to reason.

Additional evidence includes the fact that President Obama often uses the capital “O” in many of his campaign materials. We have always assumed that this “letter” signified the first letter of his last name, but it is possible that it symbolized something much more devious – like the One Ring itself.

If in fact Obama has gained the power of the One Ring, it’s no wonder that the Republicans fear him as they do – and as we all should. Clint Eastwood has always been a celluloid hero to millions of movie fans (myself included), and now that he has exposed the President’s hidden agenda, it is clear that the actor/director has quite possibly saved the world.